Five easy ways to be more successful by listening

Five easy ways to be more successful by listeningFive easy ways to be more successful by listeningListening to others and respectfully adding yur own input is a key to success at work. If you dont take the time to hear out those you work with, you risk alienating yourself from the team and losing out on all the smart ideas you could be collaborating with them on - because your ideas, your voice, and your own concern with how you appear is causing them to stay silent.Heres how to become more aware of the messages you potentially send others when yours is often the only voice heard in the room.Listen to yourself firstOne of the hardest parts of being a good listener is learning to shut up and let someone else have the floor. It requires a certain generosity of spirit letting the spotlight shine on other people.How do you know if you have it?If youre agonized when someone else is talking and youre not, youre lacking this generosity. Its just as bad if youre in a conversation and youre just waiting for someone else to finish talking so that you can jump in again - to direct the conversation back to yourself. If youre in a conversation or a meeting and every statement you make starts with I, then youre not listening Youre broadcasting. And when youre in groups or meetings, start keeping track of how often each rolle speaks. Are you the dominant voice in the room, but not running the meeting? Then everyone is hearing from you way too much.This takes self-awareness, which doesnt come easily to everyone its easy to get into a groove or fall in love with our own ideas because, after all, they are ours, and to champion them to the ends of the earth.Thats fine, if you want to go that route, but it cuts us off from others. Humans are social, and speech, when its done well, helps bond us. If youre talking when you should be listening, youre telling people you dont care about their ideas and youre missing out on friends.Listen, process and ask questionsThe best way to beco me a good listener fast instead of making declarative statements, stop and assume you dont everything. Chances are, you dont have all the information you need.Instead, ask questions.Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman wrote a Harvard Business Reviewarticleabout their analysis of 3,492 people in adevelopment program designed to help managers become better coaches. They tried to judge which managers were better listeners.In every case, the better listeners were the active ones, who didnt just sit across from someone, but actually asked questions.They found that people perceive the best listeners to be those who periodically ask questions that promote discovery and insight. These questions gently challenge old assumptions, but do so in a constructive way. Sitting there silently nodding does not provide sure evidence that a person is listening, but asking a good question tells the speaker the listener has not only heard what welches said, but that they comprehended it well enough to want add itional information.Good listening was consistently seen as a two-way dialog, rather than a one-way speaker versus hearer interaction. The best conversations were active.So dont just launch words at people make sure youre understanding what they think.Dont be afraid to call yourself outBecoming a better listener is a process, and it can be hard work. The chances are that if you go down the route of trying to be a better listener, people will support you. But even the best listeners sometimes backslide into not really paying attention to what people are saying.Paul Donoghue, psychologist and co-author of Are You Really Listening? Keys to Successful Communication with Mary Siegel, told U.S. News World Reportabout what to say when you find yourself slipping back into your old ways.Even if youre mid-sentence, catch yourself. Here I go again, giving advice, he told he site.Check out their point of viewA conversation is, at its root, a way for two or more people to share information. If youre the only one speaking, youre not learning. To create stronger connections with people, make an effort to understand who youre speaking with.Paul Sacco, Ph.D., an assistant professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work told HuffPost about how to empathize with the person across from you. Its as simple as putting yourself in their shoes.Spend a moment putting yourself in their position, whats going through their head and what it must be like for themUnderstanding what their experience is even before you talk to them can help you connect with them. And it sounds bad, but even if you blow it, youre still better off because the other person will see the attempt, Sacco told the publication.There are specific techniques you can use to show youre trying to see someone elses point of view. One good option repeat what they said and ask if you understand it correctly. You just said youre unhappy where you are. Im hearing that youd like to move on to something else. Is tha t right?Put your listening skills to the testIf taking up conversations with mostly your input is a habit of yours, you might want to give this a try.A Forbes article features a listening skills exercise that requires you to summarize what you just heard. Its a good way to make sure youre really listening.For at least one week, at the end of every conversation in which information is exchanged, conclude with a summary statement. In conversations that result in agreements about future obligations or activities, summarizing will not only ensure accurate follow-through, it will feel perfectly natural. In conversations that do not include agreements, if summarizing feels awkward just explain that you are doing it as an exercise, the article says.Being a better listener will show others that your care about their ideas and contributions - at work, socially, or at home. The benefits are better relationships and a greater sense of appreciation for the people around you. Its hard to argue against that.