What makes a happy marriage Data shows the answer is changing

What makes a happy marriage Data shows the answer is changing What makes a happy marriage Data shows the answer is changing In 1939, World War II was just beginning to ramp up, polyester was a dream that would not come to fruition for another two years, and both women and men agreed that a dependable character and emotional stability were the two  most important qualities in a marriage partner, that chastity was an absolute must, and that women needed good looks more than intelligence. A lot has changed since then- more wars, more synthetic materials, and,  according to a 2013 study that tracked marriage expectations, a massive shift in expectations for our partners. Today’s marriages are no longer about consistency and convenience. They are about mutual support and understanding. (Needless to say, things have gotten trickier.)Follow Ladders on Flipboard!Follow Ladders’ magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and more!Fortunately, data can help make sense of what may be the most complicated social issue most modern Americans face: What is reasonable to expect from a marriage? Here’s the data that demonstrates what makes  a happy marriage, then and now.A Woman’s Happy Marriage: Love And Good LooksThe 2013 study  examined results from a survey that asked people what they seek in a spouse across several decades, dating back to 1939. The women of 1939 were largely preoccupied with maturity, emotional stability, and ambition, and ranked these as the three most important qualities in a man. Much of this has changed. In 1939, women ranked good looks as the 17th most important quality in a man, out of 18. That rank rose to a formidable 12 by 2008. Meanwhile, the importance of chastity plummeted from rank 10 to the very bottom, 18. Love, once considered only the fifth most important factor, had risen to number one.The same study suggests that the men of 1939 were not unlike the women of their time. Their top three priorities were a dependable character, maturity, and “a pleasing disposition”. But over the decades this, too, shifted . Intelligence and sociability, qualities that men had ranked 11th and 12th in 1939, respectively, had risen to ranks 4 and 6 by 2008. The importance of finding a woman who was a good housekeeper or cook  decreased and the emphasis upon meeting someone with good financial prospects went up. As with women, the importance of chastity fell from rank 10 all the way down to rank 18, and love saw a resurgence.A Closer Look At Changes In ChastityThese shifts say something about how gender roles have changed over time. As women entered the workforce, finding an intelligent and sociable woman with good financial prospects has become a priority for men; with changes in public perception of sexuality, perhaps women feel more comfortable in 2008 admitting that they, too, want a spouse that they find attractive. But one change that stands out is the de-emphasis upon not engaging in premarital sex. Chastity has gone from a deal-breaker for many couples to a mere afterthought, in a few decades. An d that’s a good thing, too- because chastity itself is in decline.Data on premarital sex over time  suggests that men and women could afford to hang onto these biases even well into the 1970s, when more than 60 percent of women responded on surveys that they had been with one or no partners prior to marriage. In 2010, however, 73 percent of married women reported that they had two or more partners before they settled down. Only five percent were “chaste”.This article originally appeared on Fatherly.You might also enjoy… New neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happy Strangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds 10 lessons from Benjamin Franklin’s daily schedule that will double your productivity The worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs 10 habits of mentally strong people

Things you did wrong professionally in 2018 and how to fix them in 2019

Things you did wrong professionally in 2018 and how to fix them in 2019 Things you did wrong professionally in 2018 and how to fix them in 2019 My social media streams are crowded with tales of professional woe during the year that was, immediately followed by vows to do everything differently next year.A few intrepid souls offered to share their stories, though most asked to keep things anonymous to protect their careers!The passive/aggressive trapJennifer N. wrote in an email: “I let my annoyance at a project (super complicated, lengthy, research-heavy, reference-heavy, scope creeped, not right for me with not near enough pay by FAR) come through in my correspondence with my client. I felt put upon and taken advantage of and completely underpaid and I let it show in my tone and word choice. But that was not HER problem.”Jennifer realized only too late that because of the aggravation factor, she was starting to lose perspective.“I thought I was reigning it in a bit, but in retrospect my distaste was loud and clear.” she said. “Also, I somehow thought that by communicating some things â€" the not enough pay, scope creep, and that I wouldn’t be interested in additional work â€" it would somehow make it better. It didn’t. I regret not just keeping my mouth shut, finishing whatever was needed and acting more professional.”Next year’s plan: If you’re feeling resentful, discuss it with a client or colleague, or suck it up and negotiate for better terms the next time. Slowly simmering gets in the way of your doing the best job possible.Letting the ball dropJ.D. went to a conference in late 2017 and didn’t follow up on any of the one-on-one meetings she had.“I had no confidence in my pitches.” More than that “I’m wasn’t feeling very confident at all that year. I tried to fake my way through it but had convinced myself that everyone but me belonged there. In a way, I proved myself right, because I didn’t do the follow-up. Only after I started working on a personal passion project was I able to conquer that BS.”J.D. returned to returned to the conference again this year but h ad an outlined plan for follow up. “I restored my confidence by being better prepared.”Next year’s plan: If you think you’re going to fail at something, chances are good that you will. Don’t force yourself into a situation that can’t have a positive outcome. Instead, plan extensively for the next time when you’ll have a better chance to succeed.Set more achievable goalsAlice L. admitted to having set an unachievable goal for 2018 and that set her up for failure: “When the opportunity presented itself, I had to back out because I was not set up properly to take on the project.”Alice was devasted but realized that if she wanted to take on a program of that magnitude, she’d have to change her entire way of working.Next year’s plan: Don’t jump at opportunities simply because they’re there. Figure out goals that are both manageable and also work well with your overall success plan before you leap!Manage your time wellPublishing industry editor Julie S. held mult iple contracts with a publishing house: “A per-book agreement for development editing work, and an imprint management job where I was responsible for streamlining a lot of the publication steps with authors.”She admits that “I always saw the imprint manager gig as gravy money, and it was a bit of a nuisance because it popped up all over the day and usually ran over the set hours allowed for it every week.”Julie said, “I didn’t understand my time division well. When the imprint closed unexpectedly, I thought it would be a good thing because now my day was devoted only to the higher paying work.”She soon lined up a contract with another publisher and thought she’d have more time for freelance projects. What happened instead was that some of the projects proved to be time sucks. Instead of making double the money, she was spending more time on each project and her bottom line suffered. Her solution? She cut out the middleman and launched Mount Everbest, a direct to auth or subscription membership site.Next year’s plan: Factor in the actual time you spend on each project. The old adage about not counting your chickens before they’re hatched rings true. Before you say yes to more work or responsibility, try to figure out how many hours you’ll actually need.

Revealed The 20 Companies with the Best Pay Gaps Between CEOs and Workers

Revealed The 20 Companies with the Best Pay Gaps Between CEOs and Workers Revealed The 20 Companies with the Best Pay Gaps Between CEOs and Workers We  recently released  a new visualization highlighting companies with the largest pay gaps between their CEOs and their average worker. The latest  SEC rule  requiring companies to publish these figures doesn’t always mean that a company is put in a negative light. In fact, the figures also indicate the companies where the average Joe and a CEO aren’t so far apart on the pay scale.Check out the figures here.  Similar to our previous article, we found our numbers through the  AFL-CIO, a labor union with an interest in the wellbeing of normal workers. We placed a photo of each CEO directly above his or her compensation and the median worker’s pay. We then drew a circle representing the gap between the two CEOs. This approach lets you quickly see which companies compensate their CEOs and average workers at about the same levels.Pay ratios can be a tricky thing because there are two ways to make it onto this list. First, as you might expect, a company can pay its workers an extrem ely high wage, usually in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. This is most commonly seen in technology companies like Facebook or Saleforce.com. Many of the other companies on the list are small tech startups. The people who work for these companies are in very high demand, and their companies are forced to pay higher wages as a result. This in turn creates a favorable pay ratio in our visualization.But a company doesn’t necessarily have to pay its workers a great wage to create a better pay ratio. Instead, a company might pay its CEO a nominal salary because he or she is already independently wealthy. This would have the effect of artificially closing the gap between the chief executive and average workers. Berkshire Hathaway, the top company in terms of pay ratios, is a case in point. Warren Buffett is already worth about  $85 billion, so it’s not like the company can incentivize him with a high salary.The last thing worth mentioning is that companies have a lot of discretio n over what they count in these numbers. For example, companies can decide whether to include employees of subsidiaries when calculating median pay. Suppose a company has lots of underpaid contractors doing the real work, while relatively few people enjoy regular employment status. In fact, some of the names listed on our visualization don’t pass the smell test. It’s very likely they excluded most of their workforce in coming up with these numbers, but we won’t mention their names here.One more thing: these companies have the lowest pay gaps between CEOs and average workers, but pause for a moment. The lowest pay gaps are still 30 to 50 times the average person’s income. For every $1.00 the average Joe brings home, the average CEO on our list makes $38.80. Although these pay gaps aren’t that big compared to the rest of corporate America, there’s still a massive difference in compensation.Data:  Table 1.1

Google is making it easier to reschedule your meetings

Google is making it easier to reschedule your meetings Google is making it easier to reschedule your meetings Are you free this Thursday? How about Friday afternoon? Okay then, how about next week between the hours of 10 a.m.-11 a.m.? If you’re an employee planning a meeting time, you have likely been caught in this endless cycle of ‘availability when?’ emails. But now, Google is introducing a better way with its new Google Calendar feature.Google Calendar makes it easier to propose a new meeting timeWhen you get a meeting invite on Google Calendar in the near future, you can respond with “Yes,” “No,” Maybe,” and now, “Propose a new time.” The new proposal feature cuts out the middleman of email chatter and lets you reschedule within the app.If you have calendar access to the other meeting participants’ schedules, you will be able to see attendees’ availability all at once, so that you can quickly figure out the one time that works for everyone. You can even write an optional message after you choose to propose a new time so that you can add context to your choice.“ This allows for richer communication between attendees, reduces time spent on meeting practicalities, and makes meetings more productive with key stakeholders in attendance,” Google said in a blog post.The company said the new feature is available on the web now and is going to be released on mobile on August 13th.

ASME to Launch New Voting Procedure this Fall

ASME to Launch New Voting Procedure this Fall ASME to Launch New Voting Procedure this Fall ASME to Launch New Voting Procedure this Fall This fall, ASME will introduce a new, online ballot that members can use for the upcoming election of Society officers, replacing the paper ballot that members traditionally received with the September issue of Mechanical Engineering magazine. This September, ASME members will receive an e-mail that includes information on how to log into the ballot page, to be hosted on ASME.org, and vote for the Society's new president and members of the Board of Governors. ASME members who do not have an e-mail address, as well as members whose e-mails get bounced back, will be sent a hard copy ballot along with online voting instructions. Members are advised to check their ASME records to ensure that their e-mail address is up-to-date or to add an e-mail address if one is currently not on file. To check on your current e-mail address or update it, please go to your Membership and Benefits page on asme.org (click here for instructions), or contact ASME Customer Care at (973) 882-1170 or (800) 843-2763. Questions about the new voting procedure should be submitted to RuthAnn Bigley, ASME Governance, by e-mail at bigleyr@asme.org.

Job Interviewers 5 Mistakes to Avoid

Job Interviewers 5 Mistakes to Avoid Job Interviewers 5 Mistakes to Avoid In the world of recruiting blogs, job search forums, and career blogs, plenty gets said about the best practices for candidates during the all important interview process.  What’s less frequently addressed are proper approach for those on the hiring end of the equation.  Job interviews are the primary method for evaluating your company’s newest employee asset.  Setting yourself up for success by conducting the best interview possible can have a huge impact on ensuring you pick the best quality candidate for the job at hand.  With that in mind, here are five top mistakes to avoid for any prospective job interviewer. 1. Failing to Interview Prep One of the top pieces of advice for recruits looking to score that next big job role is to prepare, prepare, prepare.  File this one into the practice what you preach category.  Employers looking to hire top talent should also do their research prior to sitting down at the interview table to ensure the short amount of time with your chosen candidates is productive and beneficial to the decision making process. Be sure to review resumes and cover letters before the scheduled interview time to avid five minutes of awkward silence as you quickly cram in relevant facts with the interviewee in the room.  If your company is working with a recruiter, give the pre-interview questionnaire a once over or ask the hiring professional’s honest opinion of the candidate.  Each of these steps will allow you to ask better interview questions of the prospective employee and will help avoid the need for repetitive call backs or email follow up with the candidate due to forgotten or overlooked questions. 2. Failing to Highlight Company Culture While overall experience, salary expectations and education are key qualifications for any job opening, hiring partners that fail to also assess whether an interviewee matches up with a company’s core ethics, values and work practices is missing out on a vital piece of data when it comes to individual employability.  If your company has strict standards regarding timeliness or values independence and the ability to work on one’s own, interviewers should ensure their candidates possess these traits in order to avoid employee turnover. In addition, selling your company’s positive culture characteristics can help land that exceptional candidate.  In today’s job market, top talent often holds the bargaining chips and affirmative and positive qualities such as commitment to employee growth or an open feedback policy can tip the scales in your favor.  Make a list ahead of time or peruse your company website to nail down the fundamental core values of the workplace and then work them into your introductory interview remarks. 3. Leaving Job Expectations Unclear When it comes to interviewer mistakes, perhaps one of the most costly overlooked pieces of information is the key tasks, duties and requirements of the position.  Broadly categorized as job expectations, failing to convey these critical elements of resposibility can leave potential candidates in the dark as to their daily duties.  This can create confusion in the initial days of employment, a critical time for creating a smooth and seamless onboarding process. Consider bringing the job listing into the interview room and spend some time reviewing it with the candidate, point by point.  This is also a great opportunity to nail down how the individual feels they’d perform in each of the job roles, as well as address any strengths or shortcomings based on their prior experience. 4. Putting Too Much Stock in Social Media In today’s increasingly connected and tech savvy society it’s inevitable that your candidates will have some kind of social media presence.  Savvy interviewers know that a few minutes of searching publicly available information on these sites can help identify problem behaviors in candidates and pinpoint potential red flags.   Social media research of your candidates, however, can also be a double edged sword.  Ruling out an otherwise qualified candidate due to a few pictures of them drinking at a yacht party would be a grave mistake unless supporting evidence during your interview made you believe the individual was less than dedicated and hardworking.  In short, use social media to rule out candidates who would be an obvious poor fit with your company or team culture, but don’t rush to throw the baby out with the bathwater if they have a preference for sharing silly cat memes. 5. Being Overly Aggressive or Intimidating We all can appreciate a well crafted interview question that asks prospective candidates to describe their work style or preferred communication method.  Attempting to game the system, though, with the use of elaborate problem solving exercises, overly aggressive or direct interviewing styles or otherwise coming on too strong can scare away otherwise qualified potential employees.   Avoid taking the “why should I give you this job” approach and instead focus on creating a genuine dialog with the candidate.  Talking about ideas and experience in a given field will tell you a lot more than whether the interviewee can make eye contact during a hard line of interrogation, designed to do little more than make candidates squirm. In Conclusion The bottom line is that interviewees should show the same amount of respect, preparation and importance to the interview process as the individual candidates.  Leading by example is a great way to start off any working relationship and setting a professional and thoughtful tone during the interview will go a long way towards communicating those expectations to job seekers.  Make the most out of your interviews with productive and well-designed questions and you’ll end up with better potential candidates and potentially saving your company in terms of reduced employee turnover and more talented hires.

The Dos and Donts of Elaborating on Your Resume

The Dos and Donts of Elaborating on Your Resume The Dos and Donts of Elaborating on Your Resume Remember the Friends episode where Phoebe discovers Joey’s resume is riddled with skills like tap dancing, archery and horseback riding, none of which he actually knows how to do? Joey’s reasoning for including the faux skills? He could technically do those things if he tried, just not well. Like Joey, many job seekers elaborate parts of their resumes to make them seem like a better match for the position. In some ways, exaggerating your resume is a big no-no. However, there are certain aspects of your professional history that can and should be exaggerated a bit. We’ve laid out clearly the dos and don’ts of exaggerating on your resume to help guide you through the writing process. Do Elaborate: Perspective Be straightforward about your professional history, but use a perspective that makes them as positive as possible. For example, if you fell short of a goal but still showed impressive gain, a statement like, “Increased sales by 20%” reflects much better than “Reached 20% of my 50% sales goal”. Never lie about your history, just figure out how to show it in the best light. Wording Applicant tracking systems have made the importance of specific wording a major part of resume writing. Now, hiring managers will search resumes based on the job title. For example, if you are applying for a job with the title “Social Media Coordinator” and your previous job title was “Social Media Expert”, it is acceptable (and advised) to use the title “Social Media Coordinator” for that position on your resume, as long as the job requirements for each match. If you feel more comfortable, you can put your exact previous title in parentheses beside the new one. Specific Skills The number one sign of an ATS optimized resume is the use of relevant skills. Skills/keywords are the words that are used repeatedly in a job posting. These keywords might be specific programs like “Photoshop” or “Adobe Dreamweaver”, or skills like “Spanish fluency”. You should always pick out the keywords from each job posting and weave them into your resumeas long as they are truthful. Don’t Elaborate: Dates Dates of employment can accentuate gaps in work history, but that isn’t a reason to lie by extending them beyond your actual time of employment. Having periods of unemployment is hugely common and frequently seen by hiring managers, so you shouldn’t feel like you need to hide them. Include correct dates (which help the ATS sort your work history properly) and answer honestly any questions about the gaps in later interviews.   Nonexistent Skills Sorry Joey! Claiming you have skills that you don’t will only get you into trouble later. Even if you land the job based on false skills, you’ll end up falling short of expectations early on. If none of the skills/keywords in the job posting apply to you, it might be a sign that the job isn’t the right fit for you. Move on to job postings with keywords that you can honestly mirror in your resume. Education and Certifications Unfortunately, there’s no wiggle room when it comes to education. For example, if a job position requires a bachelor’s degree and you have an associate’s degree, exaggerating is not an option. You can still apply if you think you’re a great match, but be honest about your level of education and let the hiring manager decide how much it matters. The same goes for certifications; be straightforward to avoid later issues. Bending your work history to fit a job is not necessarily a bad tactic, as long as you know which pieces are tweak-able and which shouldn’t be messed with. Keep it honest and positive and your resume will end up landing you the perfect job.